gettin' much sleep?

image by krisblues

this is the question most new moms are familiar with. usually we'll nod, eyes half-closed and respond with something like, "oh, sure, like 2 or 3 hours at a time." this seems reasonable to us in our sleep-deprived state. the answer is met with a knowing smile, and that's it. conversation over.

i know i got the question a lot when the bean was new, and yes, i'm still getting it now. but this time, i find the one i get more often is, "how is it with two?" i'm not sure what people want to hear, but i always tell the truth. depending on the day, i may say it's a thousand times harder than i ever imagined, or i may tell them that we're getting by.

maybe it's because i'm a sahm this time around, or a wahm i guess, but the only thing i can relate my days to is this. you will understand if you've ever worked retail during the holidays - that feeling of looking up from your work and seeing no end in sight. there's not a minute where at least one doesn't need me, and more often both need me at once. i often feel that in some way i'm neglecting one or the other, and that is a pain i can't quite describe. i know, i know, i'm a total wuss. i don't know how people do this.

as stressful as my days are, sometimes, though, having a second baby has opened my eyes to things i couldn't see with my first. the first time i looked at this little guy next to his big sister, i broke down and cried. it seemed like just yesterday the bean was a tiny screaming little red thing, all colic-y and determined - i knew from the second she let out that primal first scream that she was going to be a force to be reckoned with. at almost 4, she still is more of a force than ever, and the little guy, well, all he wants to do is cuddle.

having a second makes me appreciate every moment more, because i realize how quickly they go by. it's made me re-think many decisions i thought i had made. you might have noticed, my blog and my shop have been a little quieter than usual. i'm slowing down, intentionally, but i'll be back. i've got lots of new work coming bit by bit, and i'm getting ready to kick off the show season at crafty bastards on october 3rd. you can catch my crafty blogs over at BEST, and i'll be here occasionally posting new work and updates from the bean residence.

i hope you enjoy the rest of your summer. i'll see you soon!